


Zoo

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Animals, Caring John, Crack, Experiment, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad Sherlock, this is insane, tolerant john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:37:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8860150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Sherlock is bringing animals into 221b, for a case, obviously.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PatPrecieux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/gifts).



> Blame PatPrecieux. She's so mean (gasp, snivel), she made me write it (sob), she made me! (collapse in a heap to recover from the awful bullying).

"Sherlock!! Why is there a baboon in a Santa hat sitting in my chair?"

Sherlock looks up from his microscope, and says in a bored tone of voice "It's for a case." and returns to his examination of his slides.

John shrugs and sets about making tea, briefly considering whether to make one for their guest but deciding that would just be ridiculous.

By the morning the baboon is gone and neither man mentions it again.

**

The next few days continue in the same way, each evening John returns home to find a different animal in the flat. The armadillo, tortoise, and penguin in the bath go without comment. 

**

On the fifth evening though John finds a skunk wandering around the living room.

"I hope that has been de-scented." He says pointedly.

Sherlock looks up from the newspaper he'd been reading in his chair. "I've really got no idea. Just don't startle it and we should be fine."

Which is the reason John spends the evening tiptoeing around and watching the tv with headphones on lest a sudden noise have an undesirable outcome.

**

When John comes in to find a four foot crocodile lying in front of the fire he simply sighs and takes Sherlock's scarf from the hook by the door. He ties it firmly around the reptile's jaws and then settles in his chair to read his book. Seeing Sherlock raising an eyebrow at him from the kitchen he asks "So this case...?"

"It's more of an experiment really."

"Care to share?"

"Not yet." Sherlock dismisses, returning to his test tubes. 

**

Various animals follow, the tarantula merely merits a warning that it had better not lay eggs anywhere, and the ostrich which leaves a deposit in the sofa has John making Sherlock promise to get the furniture cleaned. Apart from that John takes it in his stride, as Sherlock surreptitiously watches his reaction.

**

It all comes to a head when John walks in after a long day to find Sherlock standing by the window torturing his violin while a full grown adult lion prowls between the armchairs in what (in John's estimation) looks like an annoyed manner.

"No. Nope." John says flatly. He takes the violin out of Sherlock's hands, puts it down on the table and then throws the astonished detective over his shoulder and carries him out of the flat, closing the door firmly behind him.

"John!" Sherlock says once they are out in the street and he has recovered from his shock.

"Have you finished this experiment yet."

"You did it wrong." Sherlock replies petulantly.

"How exactly did I respond "wrong" to finding a lion in my lounge?"

"I was trying to find out how disgusting or dangerous I would have to be before you left."

"Did you want me to leave?"

"No of course not! But seeing as it is inevitable I thought I might as well make an experiment of it."

"So, what are your conclusions?"

"You ruined it." Sherlock pouts.

"How?"

"You took me with you."

"Conclusion?" John asks staring into his eyes.

Sherlock swallows and says nervously "I don't know."

John kisses him on the cheek, "The conclusion is that no matter how disgusting or dangerous the things you do are, I will save you from yourself and keep you with me. Idiot." He says fondly. "Now, how do we get rid of the lion?"

"The keeper isn't due back for three hours."

John shakes his head and smiles "Dinner then. Angelo's." He links arms with Sherlock, gently kisses his lips, and they walk to the restaurant together.

**Author's Note:**

> Note. In the UK de-scenting skunks is banned as unethical, John is not a keeper of exotic pets so is unaware of this. The things you learn writing fan fic :-)


End file.
